It's May. I haven't updated in a while. So here goes:
I got into business school. Applied to 7 schools, got into 2. Also applied to 2 art schools and got in. But I'm going to b-school. I foresee hating everyone, but that's what usually happens.
Depressed about the paltry number of school acceptances, I watched ponies and instantly felt better.
I'm going to USC. I'm going from a school with no school spirit to one that's all about it. Do I have to go to football games?
Work is depressing and my parents are frustrated to no end. I want to help, but I don't know how. Maybe bschool will give me the answer...
I got to go to Canada with my two closest college friends. It was the highlight of my year so far.
I'm going to Nepal and Bhutan in June. And then to HK to see my grandfather, who's 93 years old. I think he's 93, he's ninety-something. I'm treating him and my dad (probably my uncle too) to a Father's Day...thing. Details have not been decided.
I'm making a Fionna cosplay and her stupid bunny ears won't stay up and it's pissing me off.
So I'm taking an HTML5 class. One of the exercises is to create a blog on either Wordpress, Xanga, or Blogger. Since my Blogger blog(s) is shared with other people and my Wordpress blog represents the company I work at, I'm using my Xanga to complete the assignment.
One really cool site is The Best Designs. It collects different nicely designed websites and catalogues them in a convenient place for everyone to see. I like the site's navigation, although the curly cue typography isn't really my cup of tea (I'm more into sans serif type). And the site's pretty interactive and easy to use. Plus, it has plenty of different themes for inspiration or for purchase. So that's cool.
Even though Windows 8 is absolutely pointless, Microsoft's website is also very nicely designed. Like I said, I'm a fan of sans serif typography (I'm in love with their updated Segoe UI type, yes I had to look that up). I also really like minimalism and white space, websites like Roxy's, while pretty cool with it's different take on scrolling, gives me a headache because it's so busy. My eyes don't really know where to focus and I get confused. But that's just me. I like clean websites with large...ish pictures and neat text.
Back when I was a teenager, even when I was in college (which, to be honest, wasn't that long ago), I thought I'll always be metal. I'd always have that rawness, that edge. That I'll always be angry; that I'll always have that energy and passion and eagerness for that next metal band. I thought I'll always have that, because it's such a part of me that I thought it would never leave.
It's not gone entirely, but it is slowly fading. I've started listening to different things; I've moved into some punk rock, some dance, some electronica. Even some soul (Fitz and the Tantrums are really good).
As a friend said, I like things that are manic and fun. That's true. I do like like manic and fun, instead of manic and angry. I'm not angry anymore. I got tired of rage. And I know that this is not all that metal is, there's actually the musical part to it. I still enjoy that, but to me it's lost something. It's more nostalgia now, a memory of who I used to be. I was drawn to metal because it was cathartic, but now I don't really need to let off any steam. I don't need, or want, seriousness anymore. I'm tired of that.
I guess I just grew up.
This doesn't mean you won't find me in the pit when I go to rare show or so. I'm only 24. I'm not that old. But I feel the end coming, and I'm ok with that.
Cosplay is so expensive and even though I hate taking photos I've ended up falling into this time consuming and pricey hobby. I don't know why I attempt to do it anyway. I think it's mostly to see if I can do it. If I can build a 5 foot tall bazooka, or long fall boots, or a party cannon. If I can sew myself spats or a skirt or leggings.
Maybe I just need the validation that whatever I want to do, I can do it. And that the results would be awesome.
Not that I hear voices or anything. But there's always an insane swirl of thoughts and worries and sounds tumbling about in there. It's never even quiet when I'm trying to sleep (silence has a sound to me. It's sounds like static-y pulsating grey semi-circles).
So it's rare to hear absolute quiet. So I cherish those rare moments whenever they pop up.
I think this is why I decided to leave urban life. It just added to the noise in my head.
You know, I still don't get why people equate communism as anti-democracy. Communism is a form of economic policy. Democracy is a form of government. It's like comparing apples to oranges.
While there are "communist states," their form of government is usually single party rule. So single party rule is the opposite of democracy, but I guess that doesn't sound catchy enough.
It should be more like communism is anti-capitalism, though even in this case it's wrong because communism states that it is the final stage of what I guess you can call "economic evolution" (I just made that up).